Tuesday, June 24, 2008

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

I know, I'm a bit late but I'm a slow blogger. But this is for George Carlin. One hell of a comedian. Abso-fuckin-lutely hilarious. If you've never heard/seen his stand up I command thee to leave now to search his name on YouTube.com

These are some of my favourite Carlin quotes. Enjoy.

"Scientists announced today that they have discovered a cure for apathy. However, they claim no one has shown the slightest interest in it."

“When cheese gets it's picture taken, what does it say?”

“Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.”

“Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.”

“Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.”

“The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.”

“Always do whatever's next.”

“Don’t sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.”

“I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that for a while. Maybe this time it'll work.”

“I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.”

“God had intended us not to masturbate he would've made our arms shorter.

"Women like silent men, they think they're listening."

"Electricity is really just organized lightning."

"Fighting for peace is like fucking(or screwing) for virginity."

"If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten."

There are so many more I could list, including his amazing 7 words.

But truly, google him, YouTube him, search him wherever. Love him. You can't deny it. Enjoy.

R.I.P. George Denis Patrick Carlin
May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008
Sorry you got stuck on the roof.


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