in a whirlwind

There is no way I am going to recall the last three-four weeks for you day by day but maybe you can get a feel for what's going...

I started classes yesterday and am still getting the feel for this semester. So far classes seem like they are going to SWAMP me, but some of it will be enjoyable. I think I just need a better outlook on this semester...I haven't started my work hours yet, which is absolutely murderous. I get paid pretty much shit and I need money. I'm worried I won't have enough for March, and March is very important to me. I'm on the lookout for a second job so help a girl out...

So why is March very important to me? Spring Break. And no, I'm not going to be a slut in Cancun or be lazy in Florida, I'm going to be freezing my ass off in Minnesota. Why? Because that's where my man is! and that's where I want to be. I guess that's also something new I haven't talked about, but it's time you get used to it because he's going to be around for a very long time...in fact, he's probably going to outlast this blog, because I don't think I'll be blogging forever. I know what you're thinking, long distance relationship, I know. It's not easy, believe me. I hate waking up and going to sleep; I never feel so alone. It's taken me a long time to come to terms with my feelings and a lot of the time I never let him knew how I have felt for a LONG ass time because I feared the distance, I feared something that was good for me, and feared actually feeling loved and loving someone...I just hope all the time I left out my emotions doesn't lessen anything I tell him now because all of a sudden it seems I am infatuated with him...and I am. There should not be one person on this planet who doubts an ounce of the love I have for this man. I love you. You are my future.

Ok, sorry about that *shakes off the emotional face*, but I wanted to give you a little insight to my moods and emotions during these past few weeks. Even though I will say, I had a wonderful time in Berlin and will review the city and people another time, all that was stated in the previous paragraph largely affected my trip as well, being I just had to say "See ya later" a few days before (I never say goodbye for fear it will be the last time...).

Get over my sappy ass, I'm human too.

I'm immersing myself in culture this semester and specifically getting a LARGE jumpstart on my Cinema Studies Minor by taking a 700 level (typically the most advanced in undergrad here at UNH) World Cinema course, and doing a 700 level Independent Study in Russian Film (which is also credited to my Russian Minor). I'm a busy woman, no doubt.

Things I'm looking forward to/excited about and you will probably hear about: Spring Break, NEW Alkaline Trio CD February 23rd, UNH v Merrimack on Saturday, MAN UTD being top of the Premier League, and trying to be Healthy.

Until next time my darlings,
Be grateful for what you have and try not to fuck it up.
Love,
Napalm

Monday Morning Caffeine: My Hands Can't Stop

Good afternoon darlings,

I'm writing to you from the comfort of a little corner in the Dimond Library (UNH - Durham) with my feet up, headphones on, Madness singing my mood up. My mood, however, has been light as feathers today which is a great feeling and I'm ready to take down anyone who causes me to feel differently. My morning started an hour earlier today so I could grab a quick bite to eat and head to the Russian Department in Murkland Hall. I planned to have an extra hour of study time before my Russian exam...during this time I found I downed three cups of Russian tea (caffeine levels through the roof...my hands are all jittery). I just love the samovar, love love LOVE. They must be sold somewhere, hmmm... The photo I have hear isn't exactly like the one we have but you get the idea, as many people have never even heard the word samovar before. Oh...and my Russian exam was pushed to tomorrow! One more day of studying and jittery hands.

What else? It's been a while since I've written anything here but honestly not much has changed. I'm still a college student reading and writing (required in at least three different languages) nonstop and just enjoying life when I can. Classes are almost over, they end on December 11th and that is A-OK with me. I'll probably live in the library until then...watching squirrels scrounge under trees and people run across campus (like now). I enjoy this library lots and I'll miss it when I graduate. Good thing that day is a little over five semesters away....I need to get on study abroad stuff. Maybe tomorrow. Or next week. Or next semester, ha ha! I'm really put things off until the last minute- I just need to focus on getting to class every day for the rest of this semester. It's a goal and it will be accomplished.

Well that's all I have for you today, hopefully I'll be back tomorrow with another post and if not- hopefully not too far off. I'm going to brew another cup of tea before Lit. Analysis...I see an addiction forming. Until then, I'm going to leave you with a little Madness to brighten your day as they have mine.

Drinks up!
Love,
-Napalm


Suggs owns you all <3

Beyond The Border; Turkestan

Ladies and gentleman, boys and girls, humans and...all you other creatures, today you are amazing and you should look into the mirror and tell yourselves that. Right now, go find a mirror. Anyhow...

I love coming up with titles for these posts, because they make no sense as they stand on their own, however- these two are the titles of the Tang poems I'm using in the paper I'm currently writing [insert breath here after run-on sentence]. It's not such an issue but I am exhausted and I have two write 3 more pages...and when you feel like shit, three pages can feel like ten. It's interesting research and once I get into I know I'll go with the flow, hopefully. Maybe not, who knows. It is more interesting to me because I get to talk a little bit about Russian history, and well, I have a soft spot for the hunkin'-landmass called Россия (in fact, it's almost like a love affair, it's just that good).

I gave in and bought new shoes today, after wearing the same ones for about the past seven years...to see the difference, take a look at these two photos: http://twitpic.com/lnrf3 and http://twitpic.com/lnre3. With this being one of the coldest Octobers on record, I guess it was time to go without holes and have whole shoes again...even if they are made of canvas.

Other future purchases I would like to discuss with you, is the Nikon D3000. Originally I had my hopes set on a Nikon D60 but they are circulating those out now and since I want a new camera from somewhere I can get a protection plan, I'm not buying used even if everyone would advise me to. I barely have the money to buy the damn thing, let alone fix something if it breaks. So all-in-all I just wanted to know what your opinion is (unless you already gave it to me nine million times *cough cough*) and whatever else you wish to say.

Now enough of this procrastination, maybe I'll actually go and get some work done instead of messing around with everything else that isn't my paper. Until next time...

Sit back, relax, and enjoy your flight.
Love,
-Napalm

napalm dreams & little things

Hello my beauties...

So it's been about another week since I posted last. I don't want this to become a weekly blog deal but it's slowly becoming that way. I try to post when I don't feel swamped by life, and life is drowning me.

As I sit in the library, Facebook chatting with my friend who is currently studying in Germany, I have this overwhelming urge to not edit the paper that is due tomorrow. It's an analysis on Mikhail Bulgakov's Heart of a Dog...and is for my Intro to Russian Contemporary Society & Culture class. Don't get me wrong, I am fascinated with what I learn in that class but the workload is daunting. I will eventually get to that later.

In other news, I need more music in my life. How is this possible? I don't know. I feel stagnant in my music...but then I'll go put on another Rancid album and I'm happy as pie...If pie was ever happy. So I've been doing something I hate, searching MySpace. I used to get a lot of music from MySpace (about 5 years ago) when that was the only thing I used the internet for, other than tagbooks (if you were a member of the original bolt, send me a line!). So if you have anything to share with me, new or old, yours or not, let me know. I WANT SOME MUSIC.

Also, I don't know if I proposed this idea before but I have been wondering for the longest time about a "dream" blog where I keep track of the dreams I have. It obviously wouldn't be a daily update because I probably wouldn't remember ever dream I've had. It also wouldn't take away from this blog because I wouldn't be ranting on my dreams, just telling them as they are. So let me know what you think and maybe I'll give it a go.

Well that is all for this evening. I have a meeting in 7 minutes and counting for AEGIS [which I will explain another time I assure you]. So until next time...

Mind The Gap.
-napalm

It's Only Wednesday

Fuck my life.

My roommate and I have adopted that saying as our motto for the semester. Not because our lives are horrible (actually, we're pretty content most of the time) but because it's the best way to verbalize our frustration. Go on, give it a try, just sigh and go "Aaaa...fuck my life." See?

I just got back from work a little while ago. I'm exhausted. My job includes corralling fourteen 6 year olds for an hour and then keeping my eye on 50+ kids for 2 more hours (ages 6-10). Obviously, I'm not doing this alone but they still beat the hell out of me every time.

In other news, I'm still in the confusing stages of deciding on a major. I have decided that I will declare the English Major offered by my University by the end of next year. There are four types of English majors (English, English/Teaching, English/Literature, English/Journalism) but I chose that one since I could get the most flexibility and choice from it. What am I going to do with it? No clue. I just know it'll encompass some of the things I love (reading, writing, analysis, etc).

Another consideration is dual majoring. What do I want to dual major in? RUSSIAN. Yes, that did just come out of left field. I took Russian on a whim last semester. We have to fulfill a language requirement and I was DONE with Spanish after 6 years. I wanted to take a language that wasn't the typical french, spanish, latin etc. I ended up loving it and I owe a lot of that to мой профессор Aleksa. She is amazing and very enthusiastic about her class.

I have not yet declared English major due to prerequisites I have to take. I'm taking care of that in the fall. The reason I haven't declared Russian major is for exactly one reason. Russian Majors are REQUIRED to spend a semester in Russia. I'm not totally opposed to that fact but the top 5 places I want to study have been: England, Ireland, Scotland, New Zealand, and the Czech Republic. I didn't tack the last one on until recently...someone sold me and Prague sold itself. I have the feeling I'll most likely declare it anyhow...I'll keep ya posted.

So, basically, feel free to talk college with me...or whatever.

I'm driving with my roommate over to Dover to pick up her brother's car in a bit so I am off.

Stay free,

napalm